You’ve done it! You finally reached your dream country, got into that university you’ve always wanted, or landed the perfect job. But then, as days go by, something starts to creep in. There’s a feeling you can’t quite shake - a longing for the comfort of home. Does this sound familiar? Don’t worry, you’re not alone.
Homesickness Among Expats
Being away from home, especially a place that has shaped who you are, can stir up some strong emotions. You might have left with excitement, ready for your expat experience, only to find that you miss the things you thought you were ready to leave behind. It’s called homesickness, and it's way more common than you think. Have you seen the movie ‘Brooklyn’? The lead character’s homesickness after moving from Ireland to New York perfectly captures that deep longing for home, even when you’re trying to embrace a new adventure.
But what exactly is homesickness? Simply put, it’s that ache in your heart for the places and people that feel like home. This could happen when you move to a new city for work, head off to university, or find yourself living in a totally different country. In fact, experts say that 20% to 90% of expats experience some level of homesickness in their first year of relocation (8). It’s tough, but guess what? It’s also something that fades with time, and you can manage it with the right mindset.
What is Homesickness?
Think about it this way: Homesickness is like feeling nostalgic for a place where you felt safe, loved, and understood. It’s not just about missing your house or hometown. It’s about missing everything that made it feel like home. The people, the routines, the smells, the sounds. Even the things you took for granted suddenly feel like treasures.
While it’s natural to feel homesick as an expat, the intensity can catch you off guard. One day you’re feeling fine, and the next, you might be overwhelmed with a desire to go back to familiar places. The good news? According to research, homesickness typically starts to fade within the first one to six weeks of your move (5). But sometimes, it lingers longer, making you feel stuck.
How Does Homesickness Show Up?
Feeling weird after moving? Here’s what might be happening to your body and mind. Homesickness doesn’t look the same for everyone. Some expats experience it physically - yes, homesickness can literally make you sick. You might feel stomach pains, lose your appetite, or have trouble sleeping. You could even get headaches or feel constantly tired for no clear reason (4). It’s like your body is reacting to the emotional stress.
But that’s not all. Homesickness can affect your mental well-being too. You could find yourself daydreaming about home constantly or feeling negative about your new surroundings. Everything might start to look bad - your new city, the food, even the weather. It’s funny how we sometimes paint an idealized version of home in our minds, even if things weren’t perfect (6). You start thinking, “Maybe home wasn’t so bad after all.”
Emotionally, homesickness can make you feel sad, lonely, and disconnected. In some cases, it’s almost like you’re mourning the loss of your old life. Some researchers even compare it to grieving (7). This might sound intense, but when you think about it, leaving home is a kind of loss; it’s the end of one chapter and the start of a new one.
Why Does Homesickness Happen?
It’s normal to feel a bit lost when you first move somewhere new. Imagine you’ve lived in the same place for years, surrounded by people who know you. Now, suddenly, everything is different. New people, new streets, new everything. It’s easy for an expat to feel like an outsider.
Homesickness kicks in when your brain struggles to adjust to all these changes. Your old life, full of routines and familiar faces, gave you a sense of stability. Now that it's gone, you feel like you’ve lost your anchor. It's like your body and mind are telling you that something’s off, even though you’re technically living your dream.
The funny part? You might be focusing on all the negatives of your new environment, while your memory paints home in a rose-colored light. Even things that used to annoy you about your old place now seem wonderful! But don’t be fooled - homesickness plays tricks on your mind.
How To Deal With Homesickness as an Expat?
Here’s the thing: Homesickness is normal in expat life, but it doesn’t have to control your life. You can manage it, and over time, you’ll start to feel more settled in your new surroundings. Want some tips to make the transition smoother? Let’s dive in (9):
1. Talk About It!
You know that heavy feeling in your chest when you miss home? Don’t keep it locked inside. Talk to someone - whether it’s a friend, family member, or even a counselor. It may sound simple, but sometimes just saying “I miss home” out loud can take a huge weight off your shoulders. Sharing your feelings makes you feel heard and understood, and that’s a great first step toward feeling better.
Think of it like this: when Ed Sheeran started living in the U.S. away from his family, he openly talked about his struggles with homesickness. Expressing it helped him handle the emotional weight. You can do the same.
2. Stay Connected to Loved Ones
Ever feel like the world is moving without you? Staying connected to friends and family back home can ease that feeling of disconnection. Give them a call, send a text, or hop on a video chat. Just hearing a familiar voice can work wonders.
But here's a tip: balance is key. You don’t want to constantly be living in the past. Stay connected, but don’t forget to also build a new life where you are now. This way, you’re not stuck in one place emotionally while trying to adjust to a new one!
3. Bring a Piece of Home with You
Does your new space feel foreign? You can change that. Bring small pieces of home with you to create a familiar vibe. Whether it’s your favorite blanket, family photos, or even that trusty mug you’ve had forever, these little touches will give your new space a comforting feel.
Imagine this: Taylor Swift, when she’s on tour, decorates her tour bus with her favorite home items to create a sense of familiarity. You can do the same to make your new place feel more like “your” place.
4. Get Involved in Your New Community
Here’s a big one - don’t isolate yourself. It might be tempting to stay in your room and FaceTime home all day, but the more you engage with your new surroundings, the faster it will start to feel like home. Join clubs, attend local events, or just introduce yourself to your neighbors. Meeting new people and staying busy will help you form new connections, and suddenly, your new environment won’t seem so intimidating anymore.
5. Stay Active
Exercise is more than just keeping fit—it’s an amazing mood booster! Whether you’re going for a morning run, trying out yoga, or joining a local gym, staying active can reduce stress and help you manage the overwhelming feelings that come with homesickness.
Even going for a walk around your new neighborhood can do the trick. It helps release those feel-good endorphins and gets you acquainted with your surroundings. Plus, it gives you a mental break from constantly thinking about home.
6. Accept That Homesickness is Normal
You might feel like you’re the only one struggling with homesickness, but here’s a little secret: almost every expat feels homesick at some point! Don’t beat yourself up over it. Feeling homesick doesn’t mean you’re weak or that moving away was a mistake. It just means you care deeply about the people and places you left behind.
By accepting that it’s okay to feel this way, you’ll remove the pressure to “snap out of it.” Homesickness is part of the adjustment process, and the quicker you accept that, the easier it will be to move through it.
7. Explore Your New Surroundings
Yes, you miss home. But what if your new city could offer exciting new adventures? Exploring your surroundings is a great way to shift your focus from what you’ve left behind to what’s ahead. Visit local landmarks, check out a café you’ve never been to, or go for a walk in a nearby park. The more familiar you become with your new area, the more comfortable you’ll feel living your expat life.
Think of it as an adventure! Just like actors who travel for months on end, adapting to different cities—many say that exploring and getting to know new locations is one of the best ways to feel at ease.
8. Practice Mindfulness and Gratitude
Practicing mindfulness and gratitude can be incredibly beneficial. Instead of allowing your thoughts to drift back home, focus on where you are right now. Grounding exercises, like taking deep breaths or meditating, can keep you present. Moreover, practicing gratitude for the new expat experiences in your life can help shift your perspective and alleviate some of the sadness tied to homesickness.
9. Set Goals and Celebrate Milestones
Homesickness can make you feel lost, like you’re not making any progress. But setting small goals can help you regain control. Maybe your goal is to meet one new person each week or to explore a new part of the city every weekend. Whatever it is, having something to work toward keeps your mind focused and gives you a sense of purpose.
And don’t forget to celebrate your achievements! Whether you’ve nailed your first big work project or successfully navigated a new social situation, every small victory deserves to be acknowledged. It helps you realize that, despite the homesickness, you’re moving forward.
Want more personalized help as you navigate homesickness as an expat? Visit Expathy for professional guidance and resources tailored to expats.
When is Homesickness More Than Just Homesickness?
For most expats, homesickness fades with time. But sometimes, it sticks around longer than expected. If your homesickness is intense and starts affecting your daily life - making it hard to concentrate or enjoy things - it could be a sign of something deeper, like anxiety or depression. If homesickness becomes overwhelming, finding support is essential. At Expathy, you can connect with professionals who specialize in helping expats adjust to new environments, offering both practical advice and emotional support.
Final Thoughts: You’ve Got This!
Homesickness is tough, but remember: It’s temporary. With time and the right approach, you’ll adjust and start to feel more at home in your new surroundings. By staying connected to loved ones, getting involved in your new community, and taking care of yourself mentally and physically, you’ll be able to navigate this emotional challenge.
So, take a deep breath. Homesickness might catch you off guard, but it doesn’t have to hold you back. This new chapter in your life has so much potential, and soon enough, your new surroundings might start to feel like home too.
Feeling homesick? Talk to someone about it. Or share this with a friend who might be going through the same thing!
References
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2. Beschoner, P., Sosic-Vasic, Z., & Jerg-Bretzke, L. (2020). [Homesickness - A Systematic Review of the Incidence and Consequences of a Phenomenon of Topical Relevance].. Psychiatrische Praxis. https://doi.org/10.1055/a-1182-2433 .
3. Carden, A. I., & Feicht, R. (1991). Homesickness among American and Turkish College Students. Journal of Cross-Cultural Psychology, 22(3), 418-428. https://doi.org/10.1177/0022022191223007
4. Dijkstra, S. J., & Hendrix, M. J. (1983). Heimwee, een verkenning [Homesickness: An exploration]. Psycholoog, 18(1), 3–10.
5. English, T., Davis, J., Wei, M., & Gross, J. J. (2017). Homesickness and adjustment across the first year of college: A longitudinal study. Emotion (Washington, D.C.), 17(1), 1–5. https://doi.org/10.1037/emo0000235
6. Fisher, S. (1989). Homesickness, Cognition, and Health. Erlbaum: London
7. Porritt, D. & Taylor, D. (1981). An exploration of homesickness among student nurses. Australian and New Zealand Journal of Psychiatry 15, 57-62.
8. Stroebe, M., Schut, H., & Nauta, M. (2015). Homesickness: A Systematic Review of the Scientific Literature. Review of General Psychology, 19, 157 - 171. https://doi.org/10.1037/gpr0000037 .
9. Tilburg, M., Vingerhoets, A., & Heck, G. (1997). Coping with homesickness: The construction of the adult homesickness coping questionnaire. Personality and Individual Differences, 22, 901-907. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0191-8869(97)00010-X .
10. Ting, L., Rabbani, M., & Zahabi, A. (2020). Experıence of homesickness and coping strategies among malaysian young adults. 4, 42-47. https://doi.org/10.31674/mjmr.2020.v04i03.007 .
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