Being an expat couple can be exciting, but it also brings unique expat challenges. You might wonder if your relationship can handle the stress of a new culture. Or if it will face problems. For many expat couples, living abroad can either make their bond stronger or weaker, depending on what they had before.
As an expat couple, you'll experience special hurdles that can affect your mental health and how you relate to each other. If your relationship was strong before, it can grow stronger facing the pros and cons of expat life together. But if you struggled before, it might lead to relationship issues. It's key for expat partners to know the challenges of moving together and how to overcome them to build a strong relationship abroad.
Pros of Expat Life as a Couple
1. Built-in Support System
When you’re "alone in a foreign country," having a partner by your side can make all the difference. Together, you can face the unknown, share responsibilities, and provide each other with the emotional strength needed to adapt. Expat couples often say this shared support makes them feel more resilient.
"I won’t lie, I could have never done this move without my partner." - Reddit user
2. Shared Expat Adventures
Exploring a new country is exciting, and doing it with an expat partner makes it even better. From discovering local markets to trying out quirky customs, every experience becomes a story you share. These experiences can create a stronger bond and countless memories between expat partners.
"I'm super glad my partner and I moved together. It's been amazing having their support the whole way through and I appreciate them even more after all of our hard work establishing a new life. We were already a very tight unit, but taking a leap of faith in one another to move to the other side of the world together made the bond even stronger." - Reddit user
3. Making Expat Struggles Easier
Having someone who understands the challenges of expat life can make it more manageable. By sharing responsibilities, splitting costs, and supporting each other, expat couples can have a better quality of life compared to being a single expat.
"Someone who understands exactly what the expat struggles are, someone to help either tasks, sharing expenses, companionship, caring." - Reddit user
4. Easier Social Integration
Having a partner can make it less intimidating to attend social gatherings or join expat communities. Together, you might feel more confident meeting new people and forming friendships.
"I have been in both positions multiple times. Prefer the couple thing by a wide, wide margin. I currently live alone in paradise, which creates a notable juxtaposition. Couples everywhere, enjoying each other's company at the beach. Me sitting in a chair watching the 1000th sunset in a row and wishing I had someone to talk to." - Reddit user
Cons of Expat Life as a Couple
1. Risk of Experiencing Expat Isolation
While being with your expat partner is comforting, it can also lead to relying solely on them for social and emotional needs. This can make it harder to build friendships outside the relationship, leaving expat couples feeling isolated.
"Immigrating as a couple isn't all sunshine and daisies. Immigrating can be really tough on relationships and sometimes it's just dealing with two people's exhaustion/depression/isolation." - Reddit user
2. Career Sacrifices as the Trailing Partner
In many cases, one partner’s career takes priority, leaving the other to adapt or put their professional goals on hold. This usually happens when one of them is a trailing partner. This imbalance can lead to frustration or feelings of inadequacy.
"The divorce rate for "couple" expats is significantly higher than the baseline for non-expats. It puts a lot of stress on the marriage if the reason for being expats is one person's job and the other is following along." - Reddit user
3. Cultural Shock and Adaptation Gaps
Adjusting to a new culture doesn’t always happen at the same pace for both expat partners. If one person adapts faster, it might cause friction or misunderstandings. Especially if the other partner struggles with a culture shock, which is common among expats.
"The stresses of building a new life in a different country and culture put main couples under strain, and not every relationship survives these challenges." - Reddit user
4. The Pressures of Expat Life
Homesickness, financial stress, or adjusting to a new environment can increase pre-existing relationship problems. Some couples find it harder to communicate effectively under these conditions.
"While we are a 'happy' expat couple, we know a lot of unhappy expat couples and have seen more than a few divorces. And those have been really bitter compared to non-expat friends that have divorced. Any relationship issues they had before they moved were simply amplified." - Reddit user
Tips for Successful Expat Couples
To overcome the challenges of expat life as a couple, here are some actionable tips:
1. Communicate Openly
Talk about your expectations, concerns, and feelings regularly. Honest communication can prevent misunderstandings and keep you on the same page. Discuss what are your goals as an expat couple, and make sure both of you are on the same page (1).
2. Maintain Individual Identities
While it’s great to do things together, don’t lose your sense of self. Pursue your hobbies and make individual friends. Both of you need to find your social circles so you don’t become too dependent (2). Build your own identity so you can be satisfied with yourself first. This can be a great foundation for a healthy relationship and can help you become a happy expat couple.
3. Set Realistic Expectations
Understand that living abroad as an expat couple will come with ups and downs. Accepting this reality can make challenges feel less overwhelming. Moving abroad together will not cure your issues, it might even cause new expat relationship problems. That’s why it’s important to openly communicate everything and address the possible issues before you move (3). This way, you can easier start adapting to your new life and enjoy your expat adventures together.
4. Consider Expat Therapy
Online therapy platforms like Expathy offer flexible sessions tailored for expats. This can help you fit the therapy into both of your schedules. Therapy can help expat couples strengthen their bond and manage their expat struggles. The big pro is that you will be connected to a licensed psychologist who speaks your native language and knows your cultural background. It can help you better understand your expat relationship problems and ease the adaptation process.
Finally, Is it Worth It Being an Expat Couple?
The secret to a great expat relationship is embracing this experience together. Talk openly, strengthen your bond, and celebrate your wins. Building a strong support network and focusing on your emotional health can help your relationship grow.
Being a couple abroad offers more than just career growth. You get to see new places, explore different cultures, and make unforgettable memories. Enjoy these moments and be brave to make friends as an expat. The friends you make can offer the emotional support you need.
Services like Expathy provide online, flexible therapy options designed for expats, making it easier to get the help you need anytime, anywhere. Prioritize your mental health and relationship, so that your expat adventure becomes one of the most fulfilling experiences of your life. Download the Expathy app, and start now!
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