Meet Ava and Liam. She’s a graphic designer in New York; he’s finishing his studies in Tokyo. When they first started their long-distance relationship, they quickly realized the chaos of mismatched time zones, missed calls, and uncertainty made them feel more distant. After a few too many missed video calls and last-minute cancellations, they decided to create a routine that would give their relationship a stronger foundation. They soon found that with a little planning, they could still create meaningful moments together.
If you’re trying to build a routine that feels natural and fun in a long-distance relationship, check out these five steps to create a schedule that strengthens your bond!
1) Set a Weekly Check-In
Having a set time each week to catch up gives you both something to look forward to. A weekly check-in is a chance to go beyond small talk, discussing highs, lows, and goals for the week. It’s like your personal “date night,” but adaptable to your busy lives. Therefore, you can develop structured plans to balance their time together and apart, to foster a sense of stability and predictability within the long-distance relationship (2).
Tip:
Choose a time that works for both schedules and stick to it. Weekly check-ins create stability and allow both partners to feel more connected and valued.
2) Plan Virtual Dates That Suit Your Time Zones
Being in different time zones can be tricky. One of the best ways to make your routine enjoyable is by planning virtual dates at times that work for both of you. Ava and Liam discovered that weekend mornings (Ava’s evening, Liam’s morning) became their favorite time to connect. Engaging in regular and meaningful communication, such as video chats, allows long-distance couples to share daily experiences and sustain a sense of presence in each other's lives (1).
Tip:
Find a time where both of you feel relaxed and engaged. Make it special by planning virtual dinner dates, movie nights, or even cooking together from afar.
3) Start a “Good Morning/Good Night” Ritual
A simple message each morning and night can be powerful. Whether it’s a text, voice memo, or photo, these messages help create a sense of presence in each other’s day. Ava and Liam made it a habit to send a quick “good night” photo. Nothing fancy, just a small ritual that made them feel connected every day.
Tip:
Keep these messages simple. Rituals don’t have to be grand to feel meaningful. Consistency is what counts.
4) Be Flexible with Unexpected Changes
Life can be unpredictable. Sometimes a call might be delayed, or one of you might have to cancel. Building flexibility into your schedule helps keep frustration at bay. When unexpected things pop up, Ava and Liam learned to communicate openly and reschedule if needed.
Tip:
If you have to reschedule, let your partner know right away and suggest another time. Understanding that life sometimes interferes strengthens trust and reduces feelings of disappointment in a long-distance relationship.
5) Build in Small Surprises
Routine doesn’t have to mean repetitive. Adding small surprises here and there can keep things fresh. Ava loved sending Liam a spontaneous voice note or a photo from her day, and he’d sometimes return the favor with a surprise good morning message or a virtual coffee date invitation. Moreover, frequently reflecting on past interactions and shared experiences through these surprise texts can help long-distance couples maintain a strong emotional connection (3).
Tip:
Keep it fun and unpredictable. Surprises can be a quick text, a short love letter, or an impromptu call. It’s these small touches that keep the spark alive.
6) Plan Visits Together
Planning in-person visits adds something to look forward to, which is key in a long-distance relationship. Ava and Liam scheduled their next visit, breaking down the wait by counting down the weeks together. It turned a long separation into an exciting anticipation.
Tip:
Set realistic goals for visits, and if visiting isn’t possible, plan a fun virtual event you can both get excited about.
To Sum Up: Keep the Connection Strong
Establishing a routine in a long-distance relationship gives you and your partner the stability and connection you both need. From setting check-ins to being flexible when things change, each step you take to create a balanced routine will bring you closer together. Remember, even with the miles between you, love can thrive through thoughtful, intentional actions.
If you’re looking for more tips and insights on building strong relationships across distances, explore more articles at expathy.org.
Also, if you're an expat who has moved to a new country and is struggling to balance your new life with a long-distance relationship, we are here for you! Expathy offers professional support to help you deal with these challenges. Fast, simple, and affordable. Let’s connect!
References
1. Neustaedter, C., & Greenberg, S. (2012). Intimacy in long-distance relationships over video chat. Proceedings of the 2012 ACM Annual Conference on Human Factors in Computing Systems - CHI ’12, 753–762. https://doi.org/10.1145/2207676.2207785
2. Sahlstein, E. M. (2006). Making Plans: Praxis Strategies for Negotiating Uncertainty–Certainty in Long-Distance Relationships. Western Journal of Communication, 70(2), 147–165. https://doi.org/10.1080/10570310600710042
3. Stafford, L., & Merolla, A. J. (2007). Idealization, reunions, and stability in long-distance dating relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 24(1), 37–54. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407507072578
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