How to Keep the Spark Alive in a Long-Distance Relationship?


When Jessica moved to Portugal for her dream job, she left behind Rohit in India, who was finishing his master’s in graphic design. Despite their worries about the future, Rohit tried to keep things light, joking, "It's just 9,734 kilometers." On the day of her departure, they promised daily calls and kissed goodbye. They stuck to their promise for five months, staying in touch every day. But on their second anniversary, Jessica admitted that their relationship felt routine, lacking intimacy and romance. To her surprise, Rohit felt the same way!
And so began their adventure in finding creative ways to keep their spark alive! We bring you 5 Creative Ways to Stay Connected in a Long-Distance Relationship:
1. Virtual Date Nights
If your video calls have become monotonous, shake things up with virtual date nights, just like Jessica and Rohit did! Try dressing up for the occasion. Put on your favorite outfit and encourage your partner to do the same. This can reignite those butterflies when you see each other on the call.
Choose a romantic movie to watch together, as sharing emotional experiences can strengthen your connection despite the distance (1). You can also set the mood by lighting candles at home for a cozy dinner, even in different time zones. Coordinating meal times adds an intimate touch, helping you end the call with a feeling of closeness and excitement for future dates.
Tip 1:
Put efforts into enhancing your experience. Dress up for that video call, cook a nice meal, clean your room, or make your virtual background look like a romantic dinner night in Greece (use technology to its best).
2. Sharing Skills and Hobbies
Jessica, a part-time dance teacher in Lisbon, and Rohit, an animator skilled in Blender and Photoshop, decided to share their passions virtually. If you and your long-distance partner have different interests, why not turn them into opportunities to connect?
Set up weekly skill-sharing sessions over video calls, just like they did. Create a dedicated space, and use clear angles to demonstrate your craft. For Jessica and Rohit, this meant dance lessons with posture corrections and verbal cues, followed by 3D modeling sessions in Blender. Teaching each other not only deepened their bond but also allowed them to share their worlds, making the distance feel smaller.
Tip 2:
Exchanging your hobbies and skills makes the process more fun. It also helps you get to know each other on a deeper level, by sharing your interests.
3. A Love in a Mail (Going Back to Olden Times)
Rohit was never big on gestures, but he wanted to do something special for Jessica’s birthday. He decided to go retro and send a love letter from Mumbai to Lisbon. He also put a small pendant along with the letter.
For Jessica, receiving that post felt like a warm hug on a cold night. Research also shows that sending love letters can increase emotional intimacy between long distance partners (2).
Tip 3:
Personalize your packages and go retro! Going out of the way by doing something so effortful like posting a package will go a long way to keep the romance alive.
4. Audio Diaries
On days Rishi was overwhelmed with exams, one of the most charming things Jessica did was record audio diaries for him instead of just texting. She would record her thoughts reflecting on small wins and her thoughts on life. It was like reading a page from her journal, in her voice.
These gestures increase intimacy as your partner can hear your deep thoughts, laughs, sighs, and pauses which creates a sense of closeness. Moreover, audio diaries are a great way to collect deep feelings, reflections, and interactions with their environment (3). The perfect way to stay connected with your partner while being apart.
Tip 4:
Try starting a private podcast for each other. It can be a great way to connect on a deeper level in a long-distance relationship.
5. Virtual Tours
One of the hardest parts of long-distance relationships is missing out on exploring new places together. But with technology, you can now share experiences through virtual tours, like online museum visits or VR city explorations.
Imagine discovering art or ancient artifacts together and discussing them as if you were side by side. Try planning a virtual tour date. Pick a museum, landmark, or even a national park, and explore it in real time on video call. Studies show that joint activities like these can enhance communication and create shared memories, keeping the connection strong despite the distance (4).
Tip 5:
Take virtual tours of museums, cities or even nature trails. This can bring a sense of adventure and togetherness.
To Sum Up: The Spark Can Be Kept Alive
From themed nights to virtual tours, you and your long distance partner can make your monotonous video calls into a creative and adventurous concept!
After all, a long-distance relationship is not always about connection through proximity. It’s about the effort and intention you put into keeping that spark alive! If you want to explore more about long-distance relationships, check out other articles at expathy.org. Moreover, if you are an expat struggling to stay connected with your long distance partner, you can also get help from professionals at Expathy.org.
References
1. Greenberg, S., & Neustaedter, C. (2012). Shared Living, Experiences, and Intimacy over Video Chat in Long Distance Relationships. Connecting Families, 37–53. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-1-4471-4192-1_3
2. Holloway, S. (2019). Love Letters. Oxford University Press EBooks, 45–68. https://doi.org/10.1093/oso/9780198823070.003.0003
3. O’Reilly, K., Ramanaik, S., Story, W. T., Gnanaselvam, N. A., Baker, K. K., Cunningham, L. T., Mukherjee, A., & Pujar, A. (2022). Audio Diaries: A Novel Method for Water, Sanitation, and Hygiene-Related Maternal Stress Research. International Journal of Qualitative Methods, 21, 160940692110732. https://doi.org/10.1177/16094069211073222
4. Wei Huang, S. -, & Chi Chien, W. -. (2022). Taking a Romantic Adventure Together: Explore the Design of Virtual Travelling for Couples in Long-Distance Relationships. AHFE International. https://doi.org/10.54941/ahfe1002076
Articles
See all